Most of my life was spent waiting for something good to happen to me.
I couldn’t help myself.
I was mildly talented at a lot of things growing up, but I wish I wasn’t. It made school easy, I was a B student that could pull a 10 page essay together in one all-nighter and still get 75% of the content written eloquently enough that the teacher passed the paper.
Once I found photography, and once I got good at it, I knew I was in.
So I waited.
I waited to be discovered. I waited to be chosen, selected, somehow found and given the life I knew I deserved.
I didn’t just wait for success there, though. I waited to find the “right” girl. Because, obviously, she was going to fall right in to my lap as I microwaved my burrito and logged on to YouTube; it would prove I was right all along. I waited for the text.
Success, for me, was going to come in the form of a nice, beautiful little package that would “pop” on to my screen, success ready to be clicked, just an e-book a way, just an online course around the corner, while I complained to the help line about the 5-day delivery on my Amazon order.
My life was going to fall right in to place, as I sat on the ottoman, elbow deep in a bag of Lay’s, flipping through the 1,000+ options of movies and tv shows on Netflix that I could watch the second I clicked “play.” I could watch these shows all day.
Obviously, my life was going somewhere. I knew it. I felt it. I was just good enough, there was no way “they” couldn’t find me... wouldn’t find me. Who are they?
Haha! I’m so great, I’m so talented. The e-mail will come. It’s coming. The fame will follow. The money will pour in to my bank account. The perfect life will ensue, right behind the perfect wife and the perfect family and career and friends and house and city and things. I love my things.
It was going to come. I knew it. I’ve waited for it.
Right as I woke up to my iPhone ringing with 14 notifications from Facebook.
Right as I drew clean water from the tap for drinking.
Right as I complained about the traffic. Right as I complained about myself, the traffic.
For most of our lives, we wait, because we’ve been built in to a society that makes money from us waiting, and makes money from keeping us there, and tries to keep us there longer,
Because fast food is fast, even if it kills our body faster.
Because sexual gratification is just 3 clicks and a deleted browser history away.
Because, I know, if I just buy one more lottery ticket, I’ll win it all.
I bought a sweater yesterday. The seams are tearing.
My patience is leaving.
My microwave is beeping.
Why should we work hard for anything worth keeping?
Why should we work hard for something that should just fall right in to our laps?
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This post has ALL of the gear I use as a professional photographer to create every image you see on this blog. In these images, I used my VEO tripod, a 5D camera, and a Sigma 50mm 1.4 lens. Find the guide by clicking the banner below:
I'm on a mission to show that the light will always pierce through the darkness.